SHRIIIIEEEEEKKKK!!!!!!!
Darlings, a pretty, big-haired blonde from Nebraska cried and thanked Jesus last night, an event so unprecedented that all of humanity froze in astonishment.
In another development that rocked humankind to its very core, she was wearing a gown that managed the impossible trifecta of being tacky, virginal, and a little slutty, all at the same time. World leaders were stunned.
For her introduction to history, she chose to present herself like a slutty baked potato. The Pope was unavailable for comment.
NATO leaders will meet later this week to draft a response to her ill-fitting red evening gown. Her piano skills were not considered a credible threat.
Early polling of homosexual male bloggers indicates that first runner up Miss Arkansas was more fierce and had the better dress.
Aw, we joke because we love. Congrats to Miss America 2011, Teresa Scanlan![Photo Credit: getty, wireimage]
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